Saturday, April 4, 2009

Sarawak Society for the Blind

Went this morning to the Sarawak Society for the Blind building, to get the membership form. Turn out the clerk there is a friend, one of my mates ex-girlfriend. Talked, while waiting for the form, looked around. Filled in the form and applied for life membership.Learnt that someone must declare that I have glaucoma, and fill another form with the doctors certification. Will do that when I see the eye specialist in June. The look in the staff eyes, sad.. and I must admit that I felt very cold, weak, and just depressed... my whole body felt cold, shiver and just sad. What more when they said that most people they know with glaucoma turn blind in a very short time. They also told me of a Unimas staff from a few years back that had glaucoma, and tried to kill himself .. 3 attempts, unsuccessful, and now he is continuing on with his life.
I know I am depressed, but hope that I wont lose my job and that with my wife by my side, we can still work together. My Dean said that he will still retain me, so now to make sure I can function when blind. I know that I can still do research, get someone to draft what I want to be done, read to me the papers, and I know I can supervise students, maybe a limited number.. not so sure of teaching, but if briefed and prodded by someone who can see the slides, things like strategic marketing and research methodology is second nature to me and I can easily talk about it. Updating myself with latest knowledge will be difficult but guess nothing is or will be easy for me.
My wife cried.. I didn't, but I really felt like crying when we walked out of the building.
Life goes on.
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