Friday, February 5, 2010

Conflict

I have been told that I should be thankful with what I have (and believe me I know I am, not only happy but thankful and grateful to God for the bounty that I have).. and should not hope for anything else unless its given (here, I am not happy.. to just sit n wait and hope while others who do not deserve get..[comparing when I should not - shouldn't... ] and I believe I may obtain better elsewhere). So should I, obtain better?
Should I just sit and wait here...and hope that my 'rezeki' gets better; just because I have family to care for and rather difficult to leave?
Should I look for greener pastures? The risk involved, especially with family issues (mum and my son) and my own health.
Would I not be able to care for family better with a better salary? When I say I worry for my son and who will take care of him, I am 'not trusting in God' enough; why worry... but then again, reality is he has Downs Syndrome and who will look after him the moment I am not able to? How will my wife, son, daughter.. survive in this ever increasing expensive world with no job and no means of earning an income? So if I do not prepare something for them...
The headaches I face here.. haiz. But then again, I don't expect it to be different anywhere else. Would a larger salary make up for the headaches?
This is just 1 of the many reasons for the current 'haiz ...' that I am going through now...
: )

Ernest
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