Friday, May 25, 2012

Dreams, Fantasies, Goals

My brother has been depressed lately and in his writings on FB states that he had dreams..  but they did not turn to reality. Others commented that dreams without the means was just fantasy. Others suggested that he should have goals, innovate etc etc.
For me, I have a different problem now, which is making me depressed.
APATHY!
I had some dreams that I wanted to pursue, and at the time they were made I had no means to achieve them. But I did work on those dreams diligently and have achieved all of them at the age of 46. Perhaps my dreams were smaller than that of my brother, but still it was my dream. I also have the belief in sharing, working with others of the same mind. Nevertheless that path is also difficult as too many cooks spoil the broth (dream).
But I did something more than daydream.
I planned what I needed for that dream to become reality and I worked on it, sometimes falling aside for a while but it was always there. I also chose and picked my dreams and limited it. I find that I easily say yes and am swamped by the amount of work due, so now I try to prioritize. Nevertheless I am still swamped by the past promises... oh well, thats another story.
Now I dont have a specific dream(s).
Now its more like a maintenance job.
One thing I know I should do is to get thin, but that has never been a dream of mine. I am happy with myself, I have accepted who I am a long time ago.. whether other can accept me or not is not my problem but theirs, though I know I must lose weight.. so its not a dream but more of a chore.
APATHY!
That depresses me.
For me, dreams are a must. Whether achieve or not is another matter. I dream, I do what I can towards that dream. I did. Failure or success is another issue. I see my dreams as the trigger that gets me to want to wake up in the morning. I need to want to wake up in the morning for me and me alone, not for wife or kids or family or job (although I must admit they are a very good triggers).
I need to have a dream...
E
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